Cue Stick Strength

The Courageous Gift of Self-Care

“What’s a word that captures your intention for 2025?” I asked my hairstylist last week.

I’d just come from a Chamber of Commerce luncheon where the host had asked the attendees to introduce themselves by responding to that question. I figured I’d let the question continue forward into my haircutting time.

“Self-care,” she replied - and fairly quickly. She knew what she what she wanted.

“What’s that look like for you?”

“I mean…” She smiled and hesitated slightly. “I don’t want to be selfish but my answer is kind of materialistic. Like…I don’t need these things. I just want them.”

“Like what?” I asked.

“Well, like a handbag I saw recently.” She paused. “But then I think about what my son wants and my husband wants and… I usually can’t justify the expense on myself.”

“What else comes to mind?” I continued.

“I used to do my nails every month for years. I loved how pretty it looked. And it kept me from biting my nails. I also noticed my nails were stronger when I did them.”

Another pause. “But I couldn’t justify the expense anymore.”

“Ok…” I continued. “When I’m getting my haircut here a year from now, what are some things that would have unfolded in your life that would make it 100% clear that, yes, 2025 had very much been the year of self-care for you?”

She talked more about the handbag. The nails. Reading the books she loves. A trip.

“And what does it feel like when you imagine yourself honoring the self-care intention?”

I expected she might go with good or nice or happy. But no…

“I feel strong,” she said. “Because it means I have the kind of job where I can do that. I wasn’t always able to take care of myself in the ways I can now.”

The conversations meandered from there and went quiet for a bit.

Then, eventually, I thought to ask one more question.

“Just curious…when would you say is the last time you honored your self-care intention?”

Without hesitation, she said, “Christmastime!”

“Yeah…” I said, intrigued, and inviting forth the story via my tone.

“A client here gave me a really nice tip last month, and I went and bought a new cue stick with it.”

This was not an out-of-left-field response as I’ve known for some time that pool is her go-to side hobby alongside friends and family.

“I’d been asking for a new one from my husband for over a year,” she continued, rolling her eyes. “Really, I was telling him to buy one for me because my old cue stick was warped and breaking. I need this I kept saying.”

She paused, shook her head, and then said. “And so I was at the store three weeks ago buying something for my husband and saw a cue stick that was exactly the kind I wanted. And I was like, I just got this tip. I’m buying it. And that was that.”

“That’s cool,” I said.

“Yeah, my billiard team loves it!” she exclaimed. “They keep telling me that my shots roll better. And stronger. I guess it’s the new cue stick.”

I smiled.

Probably is the cue stick.

And whatever inner gift we receive the moment we find the courage to care for ourselves.

Which - turns out - better serves the whole team.