A number of years ago I walked into a Pilates studio, marking a notable step out of my exercise comfort zone. I recall it was challenging and awkward, but I am confident I would have forgotten it entirely had it not been for what happened at the very end of the class.
The instructor walked directly to my mat, stared down, and while the rest of the class was just starting to pack up and head up, she asked me quite bluntly: “Are you involved in any sports?”
Stunned and suddenly experiencing a wholly new level of discomfort I stuttered a bit and then said, “I like to run two or three times a week.”
She then said, “You’re in your 20s right now and can get away with those tight hamstrings. If you don’t start stretching every day - as in a few minutes on each hamstring – you will experience painful and severe injuries in your 30s and by the time your 40 you will never run again.”
There was no ratcheting down the tenor with the likes of Look, I’m just trying to give friendly advice.
Or a soft I just want you to be aware that there is a good chance running will be difficult by 40.
She went with “never run again.”
Then silence.
Mic drop.
And she walked away.
Admittedly, I have never liked stretching.
I mean, I love the way my body feels after a deep, long, just-beyond-the-comfort-zone stretch…
The fluidity.
The strength.
Honestly, I even think I breathe better when the limbs are loose.
But… I still don’t like stretching.
Catch me in the gym anytime in the past two decades and more often than not I am doing some kind of cardio: run, bike, swim.
Each of these provides my body with immediate feedback that yes…
I am working out.
I am progressing.
After all, I can feel the sweat!
Stretching just doesn’t feel like progress.
It feels like stopping.
It feels like time spent that should otherwise be spent 1) doing a little more cardio or 2) moving on to the next important thing in life.
Bottom line: I’m just not good at believing it’s worth interrupting my always-move-forward way of doing things.
The point of that woman’s speech?
To wake me up from my misguided belief that stretching is only a nice bonus if you have the time.
To wake me up to the fact that my body will become increasingly inflamed, tight, and slow if I do not give time and attention to my flexibility.
To wake me up to the fact that if I do not stretch, then there will simply be no more movement one day.
—
What is the singular thing that ensures a body of people moves together well? Fast?With flexibility, strength, and vitality?
When you think of a…
…corporation or a team
…church or non-profit staff
…marriage or family
…school system or healthcare system
…nation and its many, diverse people
…what is the fundamental thing that ensures that no matter the challenge, the goal, or the opportunity, the body of people can move with fluidity, strength, and speed?
Is it not trust?
“Trust,” the leadership studies pioneer Warren Bennis once remarked, “is the lubrication that makes it possible for organisations to work.”
Trust makes a body of people flexible.
Limber.
Strong.
Agile.
Fast.
There is no more empowering or freeing feeling than knowing the gift of deep, mutual trust.
Oppositely, what is the singular thing that will doom a body of people from the get-go?
What is the singular thing that is guaranteed to lead to…
…inflamed words and actions,
…tightness in generosity and budgets,
…slowness in decision-making and meaningful action,
…calloused walls of division?
Indeed, what is the singular thing that ensures the whole endeavor will cease altogether?
Is it not distrust?
“Widespread distrust in a society,” Francis Fukuyama observed, “imposes a kind of tax on all forms of economic activity.” (let alone all the other activities!)
In nations, workplaces, and relationships where high levels of distrust exist, the joints grind much longer, harder, and painfully.
The inflammation is high.
The motion slows.
The aches accumulate.
The knots calcify.
Even simple or ‘obvious’ decisions take the body forever.
Know any situations where the body (of people) is dealing with high levels of inflammation?
Here’s the most fundamental point about all of this:
The Single Best Thing that a nation, workplace, or relationship can continually prioritize to guarantee the highest levels of vitality in all aspects - material and otherwise - is this:
Trust-building.
Fukuyama continues, “A nation’s well-being, as well as its ability to compete, is conditioned by a single, pervasive cultural characteristic: the love of trust inherent in the society.”
Before the work begins, during the work, and after the work - trust is The Thing.
(A recent, internal GE Ipsos poll makes clear that when it comes to leaders one singular thing is desired above all else)
Much can be said about the myriad of ways that trust is built but foremost let’s admit this:
Even if we know how profoundly good and important it is…Who really wants to work on trust?
We prefer to keep running, biking, and swimming forward on the things we want, need, and have to accomplish!
Or our team needs!
Or our party needs!
Or…
Trust-building, then, becomes like stretching - it’s a nice bonus if you have time.
Plus, constantly pushing forward always works! Right?
—
Time for an Ice Bath
Two years after the Pilates instructor gave me the Stretch Speech, I found myself training for a marathon - and doing a poor job of stretching.
It came back to bite pretty badly.
On one particular run, I could feel muscles throughout my body tightening into knots of red pain. My breath grew increasingly short. And the final climb up to our second-floor apartment at the end of the run nearly did me in.
I arrived through our front door on my hands and knees - and collapsed. There was no more movement to be had.
“Some people on my marathon team used to do ice baths,” my wife offered as she gave me some water.
Five minutes later, I was in my very first ice bath - a profoundly painful experience upon entry. And, also, stunning how quickly the inflammation dissipated and a sense of new flexibility came pulsing through my body.
—
Eventually, a lack of trust cripples a body of people.
But… the ice bath option exists.
Here are a few ice bath varieties for the healing and fresh vitality of nations, organizations, and relationships:
An honest apology - with nothing to prove and no caveats. Just a commitment to a better way.
Courageously naming the elephant in the room and letting folks have space to share freely, safely, and fully about it.
A word about your deep fear… or hope. Or both.
The words “I don’t know…” rather than pretending you are put-together, perfect, and polished.
Ice baths can be excruciating upon entry, but these truly do have the power to diffuse significant amounts of inflammation and cause the bloodstream to course with new vigor.
And while, yes, a deep, strong trust takes time, it’s amazing how quickly the healing power of an ice bath is felt.
Which means that a new and significant season of fresh trust can be much nearer than many of us may realize.
—
That instructor’s Stretch Speech was uncomfortable and clear:
If you don’t stretch, you won’t run.
I don’t know who among us today is dolling out essential, no-nonsense truth for our time, but I’ll go ahead and offer what I think is the most important one-liner for every nation, workplace, and relationship hindered and hurting - and yet still desirous of a new season of limber strength and vitality:
If you don’t practice trust, you won't run.
Or, positively…
Make trust-building the priority, and discover how the rest of the body and its many ailments find new healing, energy, and growth.
What do you say? Time to slow the run for just a bit and tend to the flexibility?
Where can you stretch to build up a little more trust in your workplace, neighborhood, or significant relationship?
Is there some small way to reach just beyond the comfort zone and offer a different kind of care, connection, or presence?
Is there a simple commitment you can honor?
Or, for a more significant session of focused stretching…
Is a day of team-building in order?
A weekend retreat?
Maybe a season of counseling?
Or, perhaps most significantly…
Might an ice bath be in order?
Might all the recent inflamed words and tensions (and accompanying ailments) be begging the body to have the honest word? Conversation?
Here’s to a new season marked by some of the most fluid, effective, and vitalized running you’ve ever known.
Trust is necessary for Love and Love is necessary for trust. a paraphrased thought from "The mole the fox the horse and the boy".
Yes - trust… you named the huge variable in our attitude. In Lane’s book she talks about making a choice to trust the other’s best intentions - not setting aside the option to think & question the content. Trust the best in the other person.