Why Everyone Wants Their Wedding on a Farm

Reflecting on Soul Nourishment

A few summers ago we went out to Utah for my sister-in-law’s wedding. The rehearsal dinner was on a farm about an hour outside of Salt Lake City.

This farm had a large barn that had been converted into a venue for hosting rehearsal dinners. They used the center portion of it for the main table. The once-horse stalls provide space for more tables and chairs. On either side of the barn the large doors were opened to provide a view to the expansive crops covering the farmland.

It was beautiful.

This sort of venue has become more and more popular for rehearsal dinners and weddings in recent years.

Sure, some couples choose this because one or both of them grew up on a farm or has family with a farm. But, as a pastor who officiates a good number of weddings, mostly what I see is that it’s the folks with almost no connection to a barn or a farm who want the farmland wedding.

What is that all about? When many people these days think about where and how they will make these most sacred vows - why are so many are drawn to farmland?

During that rehearsal dinner in the barn, they served us salads. One of the staff stood up to point out the various parts of the salad which were grown right there on the farm in recent months.

“And the lettuce…” she added with knowing drama. “The lettuce was picked just this morning. It was prepared this afternoon, and is now what makes up the base of your salad.”

Immediately, the whole barn filled with a collective, “Oh wow!” followed by murmuring exhales of “How amazing!” (It was readily clear just how many urban/suburban folks were present).

And sure enough… We discovered moments later that the simple, green lettuce was really good. Exceptionally good, actually.

And it makes me wonder if our tastebuds were not pointing us to the reason we love weddings on the farm.

Because there is something about the pace and way that crops grow into a rich, vital goodness that speaks truthfully about the way a genuine love grows. Slow. And with steady nourishment. As the taste of that lettuce could not be faked or quickly manufactured, nor can the 'real thing’ when it comes to human relationships.

Perhaps we want to make our most sacred vows in a place that plainly declares the basic, relational truth, acre after acre.

Kosuke Koyama once observed, “Love has its speed. It is a different kind of speed from the technological speed to which we are accustomed. It goes on in the depth of life at 3 miles per hour. It is the speed we walk, and therefore the speed the love of God walks.”  

Love moves at a walking pace. A grounded pace. The pace of crops.

And so, if we want the lettuce…

If we want the unmistakable depth and quality only love can give to our work, our lives, and our relationships…

we would be wise to spend less time hurrying and hustling and more time situating ourselves under some good ol’ fashion 3mph, sun-and-rain nourishment.

You know,
Conversing without agenda.
Listening without judgement.
Serving without expectation.
Singing without embarrassment.
Creating without the inner critic.
Communing without gossip.
Laughing without cynicism.
Crying without shame.
Forgiving without reservation.
Wandering without fear.
Wondering without limits.
And receiving Love without resistance. Definitely receiving.

That’s the stuff that nourishes the land.

And I think we already know this. It’s why we keep heading out to the farms for our weddings.

That…and also, who doesn’t love taking a few moments at those weddings to look out upon the expansive acres of farmland harvest? Who among us doesn’t love reminding ourselves of what may yet unfold under the steady fill of sun and rain?