The Secret to a Great Fire (and a Passion that Changes this World)?
Get Much Smaller Than You Think
I struck a match, told myself the third time is always the charm, and placed the match into the small pieces of kindling I had brought together from twigs and dried tree bark.
No dice.
Even with three matches, I could not make fire.
This moment happened over a recent Camping 101 weekend with 25 others from around the Austin area.1 Folks of all ages gathered to learn how a good many live today and how the vast majority of humans have lived throughout history.
The whole weekend was rather humbling, and no more so than the fire part.2
I called one of the instructors over to see why my fire was not happening.
“Ok,” he said. “So this kindling is great, but… it needs to be much smaller.”
Smaller! It’s already shredded super thin!
I kept the commentary to myself, but still, I was surprised.
He then grabbed a nearby frisbee, placed it below his feet, and proceeded to wind, crush, and tear the strands of my kindling until microscopic pieces of wood began falling into the frisbee.
Ultimately, he ensured every piece of my kindling that remained in his hands was no more than 1 to 2 inches in length. And then he smiled, looked down at the frisbee now holding a small mound of dust, and said, “This right here is the magic!”
It would be difficult to describe how profoundly puny his pieces were. They made the frisbee look enormous. And yet, he was 100% correct.
Once those small pieces of dust became the base for the kindling, the fire took via the very next match I lit.
Of course, I was hardly finished. I quickly lay the 1-2-inch pieces of kindling softly on top of the puny pieces, then a few longer pieces on top of that, and I began blowing just-so to bring forth a rise of notable heat.
From there, it would take another fifteen minutes of working the flame to ensure it had some staying power, and it would have taken even longer to build toward a bustling campfire fit for a warm evening of stars, stories, and s’mores.
But I’d learned the secret to a great fire - start even smaller than you think.
—
Many of us have passion.
Passion…
For our family.
For our business.
For justice.
For our personal goals.
We’re lit matches itching to grow this-little-light-of-mine right into a bonfire big enough to warm, feed, and transform everyone who gathers around us!
And yet…
How many passionate people have you seen fizzle right out?
How many of us have lost an initial burst of energy - and perhaps never known how to rekindle it?
How many of us have simply forgotten we once had a fire that ran so deep?
Many are the reasons this happens but among them… Is it possible the flame never grew because we bypassed the kindling steps and tried to set our match to a big ol’ log?
We wanted to build the business, and so we looked to gather thousands of followers ASAP, spend big bucks on advertising, and get the message as far-and-wide (and soon) as possible. How can a huge platform not be ideal!?
Or we set our New Year’s Resolutions as follows: lose 30 pounds of weight, exercise 6 times a week, write a new poem every day, and cook 3 new recipes a week. How can four amazing things not be just what my life needs!?
Or we planned to write a book or do a podcast or make a piece of art that would truly have an impact on all who encounter our work and so we wrote of/spoke of/depicted lofty themes and dreams. How can showcasing the Big Things not benefit everyone!?
Or we aimed to put a revolutionary, big-ticket name and bond item on the next election ballot so that we could raise the banner of justice overnight. How can this name and this aim not be everything to our city!?
And true, all these things may be excellent.
The platform could be great…
The four amazing things may be quite amazing…
The themes of your art may be just what wakes people alive…
The name-and-aim could be just what the city needs…
But all of them are really big logs.
If you start there, it’s over before it’s begun. The big logs fizzle and crush the little match Every. Single. Time.
The magic of a truly revolutionary fire? A sustainable warmth? A genuine fire that feeds others and changes the whole scene?
Get smaller. Much, much smaller.
For the business - Start by going deep in relationship toward, with, and for individuals who share your values.3. These folks will become your super-fan kindling that connects you to the bigger logs.
For the personal goals - Start by choosing one (and only one!) goal - and focus the work there. One good habit then quickly feeds your ability to add another.
For the book/podcast/art - Begin by focusing on one small detail. One small story. One tiny angle of the corner hardware store when the light hits it just so at 6:32 pm. The more particular you get, the more universally you will connect.4
For justice - “Go big or go home” basically sends the passionate people back home, flames quenched, and nothing changes. Start in living rooms with neighbors. Indeed, one of the great Revolutionaries of all time started the Fire by sharing life with twelve people over three years in the overlooked backwaters of the Roman Empire.
And for the singular light that you were made to give in this world? Go deep with your inner work. Your soul work. Your heart work. Your emotional intelligence work. It sounds small, and yet that - far more than anything else - is THE magic.
And once that kindling starts really heating up (which won’t take long if you start small)…
Then begin picking up those 1-2 inch pieces.
Then stack the twigs and slightly thicker pieces.
Eventually, the fire you have going will be begging for massive logs to keep it going, growing… and ever-glowing.
Kudos to the Earth Native Wilderness School for the exceptional program! Highly recommend if you are in the Austin area.
I mean, imagine if the power grid went out and we had to make our own food! Oh wait, that happened exactly two years ago in Texas… and apparently, I was (and remain) remarkably ill-suited for the moment.
A notable aside: in this “year of Taylor Swift,” I am struck by how much of her growth has been fueled by her ability to focus deeply with, for, and alongside of her most ardent followers.
Anyone else remember the personalized Christmas presents she wrapped and then - with individual, hand-written notes - sent to a couple dozen fans about a decade ago? Swift understands that if she is ‘all in’ with the core - the work will also go quite wide.
A big shout-out to my writing coach and teacher,
, who taught me this a decade ago. I first arrived to her writing class boldly proclaiming my desire to write of joy and pain, hope and despair, love and loss - only the stuff of life for my writing!Ha! Gently, kindly, and also directly she said, “Bobby, I promise. Just write about the details of life. The best way to communicate the very biggest themes of life is by getting super-specific.”
A great reminder to my GREEN self as I prepare to move a group to a team in two days. you have reminded me that all I acn probably do is help them find their kindling and supot them as they build a fire. Thank you.
Your mother had a song, "It only takes a spark to get a fire going.. ."