That smile, right?
Gah! Love that kid.
And also, I love the serenity of the moment. The lightness. The fun!
And really, the scene is pretty simple: the final soccer match of the year has just ended. Nobody won because they don’t keep score. And my six-year-old is perfectly happy sharing in the post-game-snacks and laughing with friends.
—
“What do you miss from your childhood?”
A staff member recently invited our staff to reflect on this question, and it did not take long for the responses to pour forth:
The sense of timelessness.
Being untethered.
Living unscheduled.
The feeling of freedom.
Losing oneself in an activity.
Specific moments were named, but always we were painting a picture not unlike that of a child eating his snacks and laughing with friends - with scores, metrics, and win/loss columns entirely beside the point.
Our sentiments also made clear that much of modern, adult life runs in the opposite direction. We're…
Time-bound - to calendars, appointments, and deadlines
Tethered - to scoreboards, metrics, and the weight of the past (and future)
Scheduled - down to the 1/2 hour
Restricted - by our failures and fears
Unfocused - by blur of busy ever-swirling
Sure. we observe. But we are adults with serious responsibilities! We may miss the things of childhood, but at some point you gotta start adulting.
Certainly true.
But also… explain to me this past Halloween.
As always, the kids did their part. But you know who went all-out this year? The ever-adulting grown-ups.
They showed out with classic witch and ghost costumes, but also they went as Marvel Comic characters, the Ted Lasso cast, and a very spot-on Schitt’s Creek crew. They were 80s workout and 90s hip hop. They were things silly, zany, and scary. You notice any of this?
True, this has been a growing trend for a number of years now, but there’s no denying - perfectly mature, grown adults really get into Halloween.
And it makes me wonder…
Is it a one-evening portal back to something we miss?
Is Halloween a bit like a snow day where some external force (the calendar or inclement weather) provides permission for us to do something with our time that we could otherwise not permit?
And is the calendar’s arrival to October 31st the only option for adults to step into that childhood space?
Truth is, I think we miss the timeless freedom of childhood because something within is signaling a need for more of it.
Something within knows that untethered time-and-space vitalizes an essential aspect of our lives. We cannot define it, and we certainly have no idea how to measure it.
What we do know is this: if you take away our phones and…
give us a day at the park…
or a weekend in the mountains…
or a 1/2 day with others over bowling, an Escape Room, or a hobby…
or an evening over a Roaming Dinner Party or painting class…
(and if we can get through the severe phone-withdrawal symptoms and jittery feeling that since it’s not October 31 we really should not be doing this)
…something happens to us.
(Play may also humble you)
Our mouths bend upward a bit more, our muscles loosen in spots we did not know were tight, and our brains look differently upon all of the adulting demands of life. We’re more at ease. We see new potentials.
Is it possible we’re due for a recess?
Science would say so. “Play leads to plasticity, adaptability, and creativity…Nothing fires up the brain like play.”1
What individual, family, team, or employer doesn’t want that!? And yet why does so much of modern life mitigate against the very thing that would open such a gift?
Much can be said about that, but for now, I invite you to look once more at the post-match picture.
Doesn’t it look like the Heavens themselves are opening over this timeless moment of untethered, unscheduled freedom-and-play?
It’s like they are declaring:
This! This is it! In a world where is there always more adulting to do… oh that you might find the gift of being. In fact, here is one who has received the invitation at hand.
And does not the Author of the Heavens make clear that this really is the starting point for (new) Life? You must become like a child…
Dr. Stuart Brown, founder of the National Institute for Play in California. Here’s his TED talk on the importance of play.
Another great story! At 87, I feel like more like a child every day!!!
I think I had more fun being 'childish' the three years I helped take care of my grandchildren recently than in my whole life...changed me, it did! Your story, Bobby, brings back those memories and I look forward to many more fun times with them. The challenge, for me, is learning to tap into my inner child without the aid of a nearby child, lol. Does 'dancing to the music' when no one is looking count?