Time to Re-Gift the Old School Boombox

Because a Good Question is the Gift That Keeps Giving

Do you remember items you once hoped to get around Hanukkah or Christmas? Childhood longings that you can recall vividly to this very day?

Recently, I came across one of my childhood Christmas lists. Know what I wanted more than anything that year?

(Actual image I cut-and-paste onto The List - making clear just how badly I wanted this)

My helpful visual proved wonderfully effective. Santa came through, and to this day I remember not only receiving that 6-CD changer boombox, but the way it was a steady conduit of the music that filled my room for years on end.

As I watch our six-year-old dreaming about Christmas gifts, I cannot help but wonder: do any of the gifts on his list have the capability of being used for longer than a few months or maybe a year?

Honestly, I’m not sure. And that’s ok. He is growing and changing quickly - and with that his interests and abilities.

But it does raise a further question for the parents, grandparents, teachers, coaches, mentors, and those generally wanting to pass a better world along to the next generation:

What are the primary gifts we hope to give our children? Are there certain gifts that we might hope would fill their room - and their heart - for years on end?

I imagine we might name the gifts of Love. Generosity. Service. Education. All beautiful, noble, and life-long treasures to have surround and shape a child.

To that mix, I would add just one more: Questions.

Not pointed questions.
Not accusatory questions.
Not questions that are really just statements trying to make a point.

No, my hope would be to give my children the gift of being able to not only ask questions but swim in, explore, and appreciate the gift of honest, curious, and exploratory questions.

• In a world of pat answers… The kind of questions that draw forth new considerations and previously unseen possibilities.

• In a world of strangers… the kind of questions that help new acquaintances find a genuine sense of connection.

• In a world of sides… the kind of questions that open surprising space for differing views to feel heard - even when they remain miles apart.

• In a world of fixing-problems-fast… the kind of questions that may not lead anywhere at first but signal to all present that creativity-and-imagination are a welcome presence for working through the challenge.

• In a world of ideological rigidity… the kind of questions that press into the walls of certainty, crack unexamined assumptions, and invite us to sit more comfortably in places of paradox.

• In a world data-and-certainty… the kind of questions fearless and gentle before doubt and mystery.

• In a world where we are all trying to arrive… the kind of questions at home with the beauty of searching, wandering, and wondering (What if…?).

• In a world of noise… the kind of questions that invite the soul to slow, ponder, and listen.

Because the truth is, the new school boomboxes of…

cable news and radio shows,
podcasts and social media,
ads on Spotify and ads on Netflix

…often amplify the noise of certainty-and-sides ever-telling us what to think and what to buy. To be sure, not all of these voices are wrong or bad. But…

If we want our lives to play forth the music of…

real growth…
and genuine relationships…
and surprising healing…
and new possibilities…

...there is a centrally important conduit through which that kind music emerges: Questions.¹ Good, genuine, and thoughtful questions are the old school boombox. And they play an on-going, 6-CD rotation of exploration, insight, growth, paradox, healing, and relationship.

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And look, I get it. Giving a child the gift of questions does not compare to the latest toy craze of the month. Fortunately, my parenting experience thus far is making one thing clear: children already have the gift of questions in spades.

They readily intuit the limitless potential for questions, and they ask away all day long.

(Back in the day when questions and awe were the most natural things in the world)

Perhaps, then, the question is not only about what we hope to give our children but also what we hope to give fellow adults. Might it be that we adults need to be re-gifted our old, childhood longing? No, not the ‘must-have’ gift from back in the day. But the boombox of questions that once played forth insatiably.

How might we (re)open within if the gift of a few good questions came our way?

And…

How might a family relationship or workplace dynamic or neighborhood connection change if good, genuine, and thoughtful questions were the gift we gave?²

If you are looking for specific questions you might give, here is my 2022 Holiday Gift Guide with a variety of questions that your new friend, old friend, loved one, or even enemy can unwrap (each one situation-dependent, of course).

2022 Holiday Gift Guide:

• What is the best part of your week?

• What are you most excited about right now?

• How does that work?

• What’s been a highlight for you in 2022? A challenge?

• What gives you hope these days? What do you fear? What do you do with that?

• What’s a skill you would love to master?

• What do you enjoy learning about?

• How did you get into that?

• Tell me more about that… (which is a statement, I know, but it has a question’s impulse behind it).

And if things go as they often can with good, genuinely-asked questions… the gift will keep giving. More questions, insights, and possibilities will be unwrapped - along with a fresh bridge of connection, trust, and hope.

Which would be quite the thing to have fill the room. And heart.

And certainly fitting for the season.

1. Notably, Jesus asked 307 questions during the course of his ministry. Of the 183 questions he was asked, he only answered 3. Apparently knowing and showing forth the Light and Truth of Life has far more to do about the journey of questions than the arrival of answers.

2. Each of the questions in this piece are highlighted in bold. A total of 21 questions were asked during the course of this piece, and in many it was the questions themselves that led this entire reflection. Perhaps a sign that questions really can lead to more answers (even as they may leave plenty (yet) unanswered)? And now there’s 22 :)