Two weeks ago, I sat with our boys, 7 and 3, on the Southwest flight from Salt Lake City to Austin.
(Photo by Owen Lystrup on Unsplash)
Leo took the window, Logan the middle, and I took the aisle while Michelle took the aisle across from us (I enjoyed Michelle’s no-parental-responsibility-seat on the way to SLC).
Like many good(?) parents since tablets first took the world by storm, I quickly set up both boys with headphones and a movie. Cool dad that I am, I brought out a surprise chocolate croissant, split it in two, and let them snack in luxury.
Next-level cool dad that I am, I ordered them apple juice when the airline attendant came by.
Movie + chocolate croissant + apple juice = quiet, happy, children… right?
Me? I opened my laptop and began replying to some emails. Wow, it feels like the pre-kid days! Knocking out some work, no stress, and a hot coffee, too!
That’s when I decided to let my ears name the moment, too.
I threw on my earbuds, opened my phone’s Spotify app, and typed in K-E-N-N-Y-G. Yep. That one.
Where this idea came from, I know not - even as I know half of you are shaking your head this very moment in full certainty that, undoubtedly, I have Kenny marked as a “Favorite” in my Spotify account (Bobby would totally be that guy).
I don’t.1
I think what I felt as the boys sat quietly watching-eating-and-drinking was such a stunning level of Peace in comparison to the recent days where they had been next-level wild, zany, and generally unpredictable from one moment to the next.
And my ears desperately wanted to join in the Peace Party. A smooth sax from Mr. G was surely the quickest hit to the soul-stream.
I made it through (maybe) half of Songbird before Logan began furiously tapping my arm and pointing between his legs.
He was sitting in a large pool of apple juice actively soaking into his shorts, seat, and iPad. Chunks of airplane ice were flowing back and forth along either side of his leather seat. And because crumbles of croissant chocolate were actively melting into the apple juice, Logan’s pool took on an unfortunate puke-yellow glaze.
Karma for the coolness.
Above the liquid disaster, I noticed that buttery flakes of croissant littered the entirety of Logan’s shirt and shorts. Reflexively, I backed away.
I know that sounds strange, but that’s parental intuitional for you: if there are abundant buttery croissant flakes, somewhere nearby there are also smears of chocolate.
Indeed. Caked on both of his hands, to be exact.
How all this happened in under two minutes remains a great mystery - though it surely had something to do with how fully I abandoned myself unto the Peace Party.
(Surely a Peace Party. Photo by Alan Chen on Unsplash)
Quickly, I pounded my laptop close and began scouring my backpack for napkins with my right hand while my left hand swept chunks of ice onto the floor to be dealt with later.
It was full-on stop-the-disaster-from-getting-any-worse mode.
In fact, I was so deeply in that mode that for the first few seconds I failed to take my earbuds out. Which meant Mr. G’s smooth sounds were my soundtrack for the crazy.
Imagine…
Watching your child go into a full-blown tantrum in a room where Whitney Houston is belting I Will Always Love You over the speakers.
Or watching your newly purchased car being towed away when another car then bumps straight into the side of it - all while Louis Armstrong is cooing in your earbuds about What a Wonderful World it is.
Or throwing napkin after napkin upon a river of sugar and ice and croissant flakes as ice cubes keep floating into your now-wailing toddler’s shorts - while a sultry sax has your ears floating through the third of five courses at a restaurant across from your beloved, the two of you at a table overlooking a sun-kissed lake at dusk.
That was me at 11:34am CST on Sunday, July 9. 35,000 feet above sea level.
By 11:36am I had things under control.
I had (finally) pulled out the earbuds, swept away the last remnant of Lake Gold, and wiped both of Logan’s hands clear of chocolate.
By 11:37am Logan was calmly watching his movie and enjoying a remaining morsel of dry croissant.
I leaned back in stunned relief that the three minutes of Crazy had not put me over the edge. If anything, I had remained almost Kenny-like calm (though I did wonder if Kenny is often quite tired after playing all that peaceful music).
I glanced down at my earbuds which I’d placed in the magazine pocket of the airplane.
Dare I risk a reentry unto the Peace Party?
Will it last?
Can it last?
I put them in my ears, opened the Spotify app, and scrolled to Easy by Lionel Richie.
Because it was, in fact, Sunday morning.
Because apparently Hope springs eternal, naively, or both within me.
Because while I want the lesson of this story to be…
Drop the electronics and sugar-filled treats, talk to your children like real human beings, and watch how everything goes much better for all involved
…that’s just not always the reality. At least not on plane flights.2
In fact, amid the flow of good, bad, and ugly that inevitably comes our way, I figure sometimes one of the best ways to remain a halfway decent parent (or person) is to…
…take the few quiet moments we’re given,
…find The Peace the best way we know how3,
…and let the Easy-calm we receive in that space become the music that plays into whatever form the waters take as they move toward us.
Unless you’re are talking about Loggins. In which case, I do.
Fortunately, we did have a great deal of good ol’ fashion human-to-human conversation and interaction on the week of family vacation prior to the flight.
Including a deep-dive into soft rock favorites from yesterday, if that’s your jam. Yoga, walking, cooking, prayer, playing an instrument, Sabbath-keeping, and reading are among some of the many outlets that also qualify as excellent ways to abandon ourselves unto The Peace Party.
As a "Neatnik" spills have always driven me over the edge. I admire your calm demeanor and perspective on this. I'm afraid I wouldn't have handled it as well. But calm is you, she said admiringly.
Just having two grand daughters here and a grown son, brought flooding chaotic moments back to me with a big smile. I may not have been smiling in some of those moments , but moving through the memories I am. But a chocolate croissant!!! What were you thinking daddy😂😂🤷♀️😉